we had a sitter stay with the girls for the three hours we were gone. this is a sitter we've used before---the girls adore her. she sat last weekend and painted their toenails, and ever since then all we've heard is, "C paint toenails!!!" She is really good with them, and I should mention she is a junior in high school and I got her name from another friend who uses her as well. So she came highly recommended and thus far we've been pleased. There was an incident several weeks ago where she apparently used my flat iron (which she had to dig through my bathroom cabinets to find) while we were out, but I let it slide and figured I was being a little too anal. I decided if it happened again that I would discuss it with her.
Last night confirmed the fact that I am NOT anal, and it is C who has issues. I am not sure I will feel comfortable leaving the girls with her again.
Around 9:15 p.m. last night, Dan and I pulled into our driveway after our evening at dinner. There was an SUV parked out front (not in our driveway, though) that was running with someone in the driver's seat talking on his cell phone. As soon as he saw us pull in, he sped off. Our garage door was open, which was also strange because we'd closed it when we left, as always. I knew something wasn't right and I was really anxious.
We walked into the house to find C and a jangly guy roughly her age guiltily clamoring up from the couch, both red-faced and quite flustered. C is a woman of few words and is very shy and quiet; however, last night as soon as we walked in, words kept flying from her mouth. She instantly said, "We're just friends, I promise. He just stopped by for a minute to say hi." Well, if something wasn't going on, why was she getting all defensive and even offering an explanation? Dan and I didn't even say anything to her about it or ask any questions, other than what time the girls went to bed and if they had behaved well.
To be honest, I was so stunned I didn't even say ANYTHING to her (Dan did all the talking). We paid her and walked her to the door before I realized she was about to go home without her backpack. Clearly she was out of sorts with everything (she always brings her homework over and keeps all her things in it, wallet, keys, etc.) because she was walking out the door without any of her stuff.
It doesn't take a genius to imagine what they were up to---I was 17 once, too. But I did my fair share of baby sitting when I was growing up and I never EVER brought a boyfriend over. If I'd wanted to, I certainly would have asked, and would not have dreamed of going about it the way C did last night. Having gone through my personal things to find my hair tools was a sign that this girl knows no boundaries, and it's a shame because good sitters are hard to find and my kids adore her. Even though my children are almost 2 1/2, it is still hard for me to leave them, but having a good sitter makes it easier for me.
So now I am left wondering what to do with all of this. I've got to tell her how I feel, but frankly I'm not sure I can leave her with Abby & Izzy again, knowing what she's capable of. Even if I never ask her to sit again I still need to share my thoughts with her, and she's got to know this isn't right----if her own parents haven't taught her this already.
I thought it was implicit that she could not have a boyfriend over (incidentally, if it was a girlfriend, I would not have cared at all). You just don't do that. Or at least you ask first. I didn't think I should have to tell her (or any other sitter, for that matter) that you can't have your boyfriend over for a hanky panky session on my living room couch. Am I wrong? Hell, they could have had sex in our bed for all I know!!!
I've drafted an email to her in my mind, as I'm not sure I want to do this on the phone. If I don't want her to sit again, it doesn't really matter which means of communication I use, I suppose.
I called my friend Shelly last night right after C left to let her know what had happened (since Shelly is the one who first gave me C's name and number). She was equally appalled and said she wasn't sure she could use her again, either. It was truly a dumb thing C did because she knows all of us twin moms are very close and we share everything. So she will lose not only me, but at least two other moms that I know of.
I welcome any thoughts or advice you may have if you are reading this....