we're all sick. bad head cold. it's been super fun dealing with that. i know it could be worse, but...i was just sick in june. it seems like it was only a few weeks ago.

in other news, two weeks from now i'll be undergoing thyroid ablation therapy. my thyroid is no longer responding to medication and i'm sweating constantly. it's just time to get it done. i'll have to steer clear of the girls for 3-4 days (they'll go to school and then dan and sitters will take over) while i'm radioactive (i have to take a large dose of radioactive iodine to kill my thyroid). it shouldn't be invasive or painful or anything, except perhaps for a sore throat. it's either this or surgery, and D said no surgery. so there you have it.

the girls are now napping in underwear. woohoo! progress continues!

and abby is coughing through her nap. oy.



i have a bad mommy confession to make. i feel awful. i know i can't un-do it. i've been really anxious/stressed out about Hurricane Gustav. not that that is an excuse for what I did, but maybe it puts my mood into perspective.

i took the girls to the grocery store this morning (right after water started coming over the tops of the levees in new orleans), and they wouldn't ride in the cart. not a regular cart, and not a car/fire truck/police car inspired cart (these days even when we do get one of those kiddie carts, they rarely stay in it long). i told them they had to stick with mommy if they wanted a treat. well, that lasted for about 5 minutes, and then they were off and running. all over the store. it started when i was at the meat counter waiting for my ground turkey. they took off. it's monkey see-monkey do all the time with the girls. endlessly frustrating. again, not an excuse.

so i chase them down TWICE, and TWICE warn them that if it happens again and they refuse to stick with mommy, they're going to get a spanking. no one likes to spank their kids. and part of my problem is that i am constantly threatening, and often without any follow through, so they think they can do whatever they like most of the time. well, today i proved them wrong. i have only spanked in public one or two other times, and it wasn't the same as today, and i don't think it was both of them at once, either.

i was furious with them. i spanked them each and izzy promptly plopped down on the floor in the middle of the aisle and started wailing as a result. i guess when she sat down (or when i spanked her), she bit her lip, and it started bleeding. so here i am with two crying kids in the middle of the grocery store (and it wasn't a big/long shopping trip, either----i needed maybe 6 or 7 things and we were gone less than 30 minutes), one with a bleeding lip, and i'm sure people wanted to call child protection services on me. i was just at my wit's end. that's no excuse, either, but sometimes i think i need to quit taking them to the grocery/target/etc. because i cannot control them. once the manager almost had to shut down target because abby ran off and was hiding and wouldn't respond when i was calling her name up and down each aisle. she thought it was really funny. i, however, was not laughing.

i need a solution. i need to be able to go to the store like a normal person and not have to go running around after my kids. i need to calm down and not get so bent out of shape and take things out on them----although, in my defense, even in retrospect, they deserved it today and were being completely wicked. the terrible twos are getting me down. i really don't feel like i have the upper hand here, and i should. i'm the mommy. but it's two against one most of the time. my fear is, if i leave them to their own devices, especially in the grocery store, there will be broken jars of spaghetti sauce and packages of M & M's torn open all over the floor.

i am sorry for being such a shitty mom.

video of canal

VIDEO: Water laps over Industrial Canal


well, we were thinking Gustav wasn't wreaking as much havoc as we'd anticipated, but now water is overtopping the Industrial Canal and there are some barges loose. oy vey. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed and hope this won't turn into another catastrophe.

my family is still hunkered down in Florida and i think they're going a little crazy with the waiting and the worry.

meanwhile we're battling a cold here and just watching NOLA news on-line:



sigh of relief, sort of...

i am heaving a huge sigh of relief as all of my family and friends have evacuated new orleans. it's really tough being so far away and feeling completely helpless. i wish i lived closer and could help or DO something. instead, i continue to watch the Weather Channel and am feeling very anxious. regardless of the size/intensity of the storm when it hits (they say it is likely to hit as a category 3), new orleans is in for some heavy rains and flooding. i just don't know what's going to happen.

we have a kiddie birthday party this afternoon, so that will be a little distraction.

please keep everyone on the Gulf Coast in your thoughts and prayers.

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