A Poorly Written Poem Inspired by Recent Events

So you've broken your clavicle in two places
Playing flag football and running rat races.

It hurts like a sonofabitch
and your bandages & sling make you itch.

They pumped you full of pain meds
And I thought you'd go home to bed...

But instead you went back out on the town
And told the bartender, "Pour me another round!"

You love drinking & hanging out with your friends
But please tell me where the stupidity ends?

"I'm going back to work tomorrow," you say in denial.
Do you also think you could go out and run a few miles?

Sometimes I wonder if you've developed amnesia
From the pain meds that caused you to need Milk of Magnesia.

As I hold the giant blue bottle and stand in a long line,
I assure everyone around it's for that dumb husband o' mine.

We're going to see the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow
And perhaps then you'll start to feel some sorrow.

Won't it be fun to walk around at work with your arm in a sling
With people whispering behind your back, "What was he thinking?!!?"

You can't help with the kids' baths or opening your childproof-capped bottles
But I'm glad because it also means you can't drive your Porsche full throttle.

Instead of being a man you were acting like a boy.
Next time remember: a football is not a toy.