My brother Mark and I
I wanted to marry my little brother "Markie."
Clad in my favorite Strawberry Shortcake shirt
and a dress made from a blanket.
A fake flower plucked from a vase.
A veil edged in lace.
Markie in my dad's too-big striped tie,
so proudly holding my arm.
An irresistible grin a mile wide,
His hair lightened by the summer spent outside.
My brother Kevin and I, circa 1982
He arrived when I was five, on the edge of six.
I loved holding him and giving him bottles.
I brought him to school for Show & Tell.
So proud was I that I also shared
"Where Did I Come From?"
the book my parents gave me, with all
of my friends at recess.
We whispered and giggled and pointed
at parts until my teacher caught us.
My parents fielded her phone call that night--what a fuss.
Suddenly I have to turn to look over my shoulder to find that little girl.
All three of us are adults now, having crossed over.
Cut from the same cloth,
yet so different in so many ways.
The miles and the passage of time
have made it difficult for me.
I struggle to pick up the phone.
There's so much I want to say, but I don't.
Things happen and you realize your siblings
are pieces of your puzzle and the vestiges of your childhood.
They will be there when everything else is gone.
I want to be a better sister if it's not too late.
I'll be like an archaeologist and sift through
the broken bones of time, the dirt clogging up the
hardened arteries of my heart.
I wonder if I'll have to dig deep?
I hope what I seek lies just beyond the surface.
With a little dusting off, some polishing, and
careful preservation, we'll be good as new.
44 comments:
I have had to rededicate to being a better sister on occasion. It's hard and sometimes they won't let you in but you keep trying!
i too am grateful for my siblings too! love the wedding/play pics of U and your brother!
Yup, keeping in touch is hard..but SO worth it...
I am an only child and I always longed for siblings. I can only imagine how complicated those relationships must be, but I'm glad my children will have the opportunity to experience all of it.
I hope you get the chance to reconnect with your brothers, Erin.
Aw Erin, you look just like you.
I only have one sibling, a younger brother. Although we never lived far from each other, there were years that we weren't very close. That has changed, mostly due to me. I made the effort to reach out and since then, we've been much closer. We talk often, and attend Phillies games together throughout the season. And of course, I pop in and see him now and then.
This is so sweet. :)
Reminds me of the song about being nice to your brothers and sisters because they will be the only link to your past. :)
Beautiful piece.
Having a relationship with a sibling can be tough, especially when they are opposite sex.
Definitely worth the work!
Dear Erin,
Come to New Orleans and get drunk with Mark and me.
Umm well it looks like someone else agrees that ya'll need to be closer.. lmbo ummm do we get a vlog if you do?? I at least insist on a Skype lol
Very sweet! I hope you don't have to do much digging :)
this was/is a very sweet post. It's hard to stay connected to siblings but definitely worth it. I have one sister who is 2 years younger. We are VERY different. She lives about 3 hours away. We were never exceptionally close but we certainly love each other. I wish she lived closer now that she is thinking of starting a family. I wish I could be here for her as she starts on that journey. We talk via email. We see each other occassionally. Yet I still wish we were closer... Good luck reconnecting with your siblings. I hope it works out for all of you.
P.S. Lovely pictures.
I don't have any siblings, but I know the bond is practically unbreakable! Another great post!!
This was such a sweet post. There is nothing like having a sibling. I have a brother and sister...my brother is super quiet and sometimes it is like pulling teeth to talk with him but my sister and I are close. That's why I am glad I have two boys...I love watching them together and I PRAY they remain close throughout their lives.
I just got off the phone with my sister. Among other things we discussed all the issues that have ensued by not sticking with our plan to always live next door to each other and have tea every afternoon...and how the deviation from that path seems so much more than the temporary state we imagined it was.
But we also talked about how much we treasure and enjoy each other's company and how it is so worth the extra effort it takes to be together when you live 3 states away...
Awesome! You inspire us all to be better siblings.
Very sweet pictures:)
I'm lucky enough to be pretty close to my siblings. I admit, it's more difficult with my brother. His married and his wife is very sweet, but sometimes it doesn't seem like we have a lot in common with them. My whole family is going on a vacation together this upcoming weekend and into the week, so it should be a good chance to reconnect!
I always wanted a sibling. Yes, I have a brother but I don't want to be related to him.
This is sweet Erin. I'm a huge believer in families staying close, if possible. My siblings and I aren't as close as I'd like but I hope that someday that will change. Good luck!
I don't have any brothers, but I've always thought it was cool to have BILs because you get awesome big brothers (in my case) without having to go through the years where they pick on you and beat you up! lol I adore my sisters as well and wish it wasn't such a struggle for us to keep in touch. If it wasn't for fb, I would probably never hear from one of my sisters. I am so grateful to have siblings and I think sometimes I take them for granted.
I don't know why this old Andy Gibb song raced into my brain!
Love is , higher than a mountain
Love is , thicker than water
You are this dreamers only dream
Heaven's angel , devil's daughter
Only substitute the "love is" to "blood is" or in your case "bros are."
You're welcome. Anytime. *smile*
I don't have any siblings...but I always wanted some.
My husband has a brother and he often feels this way, a loss of togetherness and a wish to be closer. I hope that they can find that closeness, and that you and your brothers will too.
I don't have any siblings...but I always wanted some.
My husband has a brother and he often feels this way, a loss of togetherness and a wish to be closer. I hope that they can find that closeness, and that you and your brothers will too.
These pics warm my heart.
There really is nothing like a sibling in this world. They just know, you know?
I think it will be easy to 'reconnect' if that is what you are trying to do. Do it girl!
It can be so hard to keep the relationship up with siblings as you all become adults
Thats very sweet, and I love the pics!
straight from my heart. I love sis, it's like we survived something together...which we did.
You guys were so cute.
Sweet poem too. Sounds like you're a great sis.
Awww, sweet. There is nothing like a brother/sister relationship. It's just so special.
My sister and I are not close and events these past few years have driven us further apart. It can be hard to resurrect such relationships when they go off the rails. So I wish you luck.
Hi Erin...Its Robin from Insights and Belly Laughs and LOL.....Ive been away for some time and now back to catch up on my favs...this is my new/old blog address, I needed to redirect everything....Wow, This was written so well.....and the pics are so cute..Hope all is well with you...Hey ..may I run another of your funny posts on LOL...I still have two left(foot one...Lol)..Let me know if its OK..!
As the oldest sibling and only daughter I know what you are talking about. It's not always easy to stay connected to my brothers. I practically removed myself from the family when I left for college years ago. But I am here to tell you, that yes, a little dusting off and it'll all be fine. I now have lunch almost every day with my youngest brother and we talk about all sorts of things. You are siblings, and you can rebuild your relationship. It'll be easier than you think.
My brother is my best friend, but he is terrible to talk to on the phone. Stiff, not especially giving with the details...it's torture, frankly.
Which sucks, because he lives in Seattle and I'm in Maryland. The phone is pretty much all we've got most of the time.
It's hard.
How sweet. I have a sister, but we arent really all that close.
Not sure why. other than we are completely opposites.
Love the photos.
so you were a rebel rouser even at an early age reading "Where did I come from" to all your peers, eh??!!!
I'm sure it will take some digging, but you are strong. I wish you luck as I'm still just standing here looking dumbly at the shovel with which I should revisit my own brother (I'd rather clock him over the head with it!!!).
as I have gotten older, made them an aunt and uncle, my siblings and I have seen each other Marry, buy homes, grow ups...I love both of them dearly, even if we don't talk everyday. I wish we did, but I also know that they know I am here for whatever they need.
This made me want to be a better BIG sister too....we'll get there. :)
HUGS
What an incredibly beautiful and touching piece on relationships with siblings. This part really choked me up,
"Things happen and you realize your siblings
are pieces of your puzzle and the vestiges of your childhood.
They will be there when everything else is gone.
I want to be a better sister if it's not too late.
I'll be like an archaeologist and sift through
the broken bones of time, the dirt clogging up the
hardened arteries of my heart."
Family relationships are so incredibly complicated and yet you are right, when everything else is gone, they are what you have. And they are the only ones that fit with us like puzzle pieces and understand the intricate maze of our own childhoods.
Every time I read one of your posts, I leave it thinking about something for a long, long time. Mulling over something from my past, or something from my present. Thank you for being the amazingly insightful and honest writer you are. I really admire you.
Don't think...just do!
Erin this was absolutely beautiful. I loved it. Your brothers are very lucky to have you for a sister.
This is lovely Erin. I tell my girls to love each other and treat each other like best friends because one day, they'll wish they were. Thanks for the inspiration (and the tears) :)
This is such a nice post. Makes me wish I was closer to my brother.
What a very thought-provoking post, Erin! It's never too late to try and recapture that youthful fun!! My sister and I were never really close...we're so different as people, even though we had the same exact upbringing. As adults, we try to do things together (in fact, she created much of the family drama I mentioned in my Tahoe post) but I know we'll never share the type of close relationship that other siblings do. Call me crazy but I watch the Kardashian sisters reality show sometimes and feel insanely jealous over how close they are.
My parents also gave me that same book and I remember my friend and I giggling for hours over it!
I pray you'll be even better than "good as new."
Hugs :)
This makes me want to give my sister a hug. You should know that I'm not that into hugging my sister. But it's never too late, is it?
Even though the first poem here is from high school, one can see how those feeling are still "true" for you today. Have you thought about writing poems about what happened after dad left/what your relationship is like today? I have just been invited to read/write for the Red Dress Club, too, but I haven't checked it all out yet. See you there & here!
This is so sweet! My brother and I are super close now that we are older. It took until I went away to college for that to happen. We are so close that we only live 3 blocks away from each other! I always said that I didn't want to live in the same neighborhood as he did but it works out great.
Also, my parents and my aunts and uncles used to get together when I was little and dress me up like a bride and my cousin as the groom. I have some pics of that too. It was strange.
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