me, Lee, & Tracie on the rooftop of some bar we don't remember the name of
2. Sometimes a complete stranger you've just met can manage to size you up in a matter of seconds.
3. I talk about letting go and apologizing, but these are issues I'm still wrestling with. I am too much in my own head. My brain is always on overdrive. I ruminate on the past and have a hard time freeing myself from the web.
4. My heart is big; maybe too big. Is that possible? I see the best in everyone. I trust, but at the same time, I'm not sure I should. I'm guarded. Does that make any kind of sense? No, I didn't think so either.
5. It is difficult to reconcile my memories of the distant past with what actually happened. Are those recesses of my brain biased? Do I make things up or tweak them so they're more palatable?
6. Despite the struggles, I'm growing by leaps and bounds, saying what's on my mind. So while I struggle with letting go of some things, I am simultaneously evolving, shifting and making room for The New Erin. The Evolution of Erin, as it were.
7. I've written before about my love for New Orleans (the city of my birth) and the fleur de lis. Fleur de lis literally means "lily flower" & you can learn more about it here. I've wanted a fleur de lis tattoo for a LONG time, so this past weekend was the perfect opportunity. I even managed to incorporate my original tattoo I got when I was in college with my friend Heather (we got matching flowers to prove we were fun, daring and not lame).
Sorry, Dad. Don't hate me.
BEFORE: my original tattoo I got in college circa 1997, on my right hip.
8. I'm doing something new in early 2011, but I'm not going to call it a New Year's Resolution. Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird is an amazing read for writers. I'm going to put it into action, starting with my morning pages. I will set my alarm every morning (not sure of the exact time yet, but thinking 5:30-5:45 ish) so that I can write in the quiet early morning darkness.
"The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of a workshop is
that good writing is about telling the truth." --Anne Lamott
9. There is nothing better than returning home after a weekend away and being greeted by hugs and sweet kisses from my husband and daughters. I missed them, but it was still a treat to get away.
10. Changes are a comin' for me & The Mother Load. Slowly but surely, I'm learning how to fly. My friend Megan Matthieson's post today inspires me soooo much and speaks to what I've been feeling. Go read it now: I Am a Bird.
AFTER: fleur de lis tattoo incorporating my original tattoo (thanks to lee & tracie for the idea)
close up: NO, IT IS NOT RED. the red is only irritation. The red will eventually be grey shading.