Ugly Things, or What My Husband Doesn't Want Me To Blog About


**I must preface this by saying I do not claim to be a psychologist, psychiatrist, or health professional of any kind. I speak only from my limited personal experience. Furthermore, my husband has discouraged me from writing about certain things here; but this is my blog, and my space. And if you judge me for what I'm about to say, then you're not the sort of person I need in my life.**

Depression is an ugly monster. He has chased me before, and despite a brutal battle, I emerged victorious, though bruised and badly beaten.

Ten or twelve years went by and life was incredible. I met and married the love of my life, gave birth to twin girls when I thought I'd never be able to become a mother, and I've been really happy.

But suddenly, I met my match: a tiny little gland in my neck called a thyroid. Turns out this little dude is responsible for everything from our metabolism to our mood swings. Several months ago, I started noticing changes in myself while undergoing fluctuations in my thyroid hormone levels. I began to feel sad, irritable, tired, restless, and depressed. I had no energy. I felt worthless and hopeless. I lashed out at my loved ones, I withdrew into myself, and I cried a lot, often without a particular reason.

There is no shame in depression. It's a disease caused by chemical imbalances in the brain (as well as thyroid problems). It's not something you can simply "snap out" of on a whim. And if I can reach people by talking about my experience, then maybe I will save someone from suffering needlessly. Perhaps one less person won't feel as alone or scared anymore. Maybe someone will read this and a lightbulb will go off.

If you can relate to these feelings or if it sounds like someone you love, then depression could be the cause. But help is out there, and you shouldn't be afraid to reach out and ask for it. Counseling and/or medication can go a long way. There is no shame in depression. Shame is created by silence. If we kick the quiet to the curb, we can potentially change the way the world views this debilitating disease.

I suffer from depression, and I AM NOT ASHAMED.


How To Achieve Comment Utopia

I am guest posting today over at Lee's CCWA blog on How to Achieve Comment Utopia. Like I'm some expert or something! Go check it out when you have a chance!

**Comments have been turned off.**


Are You Addicted to Comments? Then I Have the Support Group For You!

Do you crave lots of comments on your blog posts? Are you slightly obsessed? Then let me introduce you to CCWA, or Comment Crack Whores Anonymous, the brain child of Lee the Hotflash Queen.

Join the site, apply to be a featured member, and feed your addiction
in the comfort of others just like you!
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Don't forget to enter my giveaway for Funky Mama's brand new cd! If your little ones love to sing, dance, and groove, they're sure to love her as much as my girls do!!


Funky Mama's BRAND NEW CD Giveaway Starts NOW!

Moms (& Dads), if you have little ones who love to groove, this giveaway is for you!

Funky Mama is a local kids' entertainer. She loves to play her guitar, "Candy," and rock out to tunes that make kids jump up and down. My girls can't get enough of her and two of her cd's are in my car at all times lest someone have a breakdown. Please go here and click on "video" to get a feel for her and see what the fuss is all about!

(isn't she adorable? She played for the girls' 4th birthday party and couldn't have been sweeter!)

Funky Mama has just released her newest cd, entitled "Sing," and has given me an extra copy to give away to one of my readers!  It includes 14 incredible tracks (which you can hear clips of on her site if you go here):

1. Sing!
2. Don't Shake the Box
3. Bananas Foster
4. Big Brother
5. Farmers' Children
6. Meet Me in the Mountains
7. Playdate
8. Gimme Sugar
9. Get Up Jam
10.  Hi-Yah
11. Squaretangle
12. Little Funky Mama
13. Every Happiness
14. Songbird

Here's how to enter:

Become a fan of Funky Mama on Facebook: 2 entries

Follow Funky Mama's Blog: 2 entries

Tweet about this giveaway with a link to this post: 2 entries (be sure to send me a link to your tweet and include my username in it @erinlynn76): 2 entries --you may tweet twice daily

Blog about this giveaway with a link to this post (and email me a link to make sure I see it): 5 entries

Follow my blog: 1 entry

Follow me on Twitter (@erinlynn76): 1 entry

Tell me why you deserve to win this giveaway: 1 entry

The winner will be chosen on Sunday, February 21, 2010 at 7:00 a.m. CST. GOOD LUCK!


Mirror, Mirror on the Wall--Is What I See Accurate at All?

My husband recently accused me of having BDD, or Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This psychological disorder is very complex and while I won't bore you with any statistics, I think it's fair to say it affects a significant number of people, both male and female. It is closely associated with other disorders, such as anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating, social phobias, anxiety, and depression. Onset typically occurs in adolescence or early adulthood. An obsession with one physical feature can quickly grow to encompass several.

People who suffer from BDD are often misperceived as vain, when in reality they loathe what they see in the mirror. Some may spend lots of time looking at themselves and focusing on their imperfections while others refuse to look at their reflections at all, becoming reclusive because they believe themselves to be so hideous.

I admit I fit the profile for this, but that my case is pretty mild compared to others I've heard about (not mentioning any names). You may recall reading about some of my hangups here.

What do YOU see when you look in the mirror? Do you feel like you see what is real/accurate, or is your perception skewed? And are you able to separate what you perceive from what the reality is?

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