Last Ditch Effort---Please Vote For Me For Top Mommy Blogger!

Do you miss me? I miss you.

No worries, I'll return to BlogLand soon. Right now I'm busy squeezing myself into my Spanx, perfecting my clown face makeup, and sweating myself silly whilst using blotting papers from Sephora to try and minimize the shine for the photographer's lens. Ahhhh, weddings!

If you really miss me and if you really really really love me, will you please go over to Lesley's place, Project Mommyhood, and vote for me for Top Mommy Blogger of the Year? You may continue to vote once daily through Sunday.Thank you! Merci! Gracias!

**Comments are off until Monday**


Does Britney Spears Need New Backup Singers? I've Got Some Hopefuls....

I will be very busy this weekend, as I am a bridesmaid in my college BFF's wedding. So I thought I'd leave you with some entertainment, something mindless and hopefully amusing (and SHORT). Did you know that the secret to successful vlogging lies in your brevity? A lot of people don't bother watching them regardless, but you might be more inclined to view this one since I'm not in it and because it's under two minutes long.

Meet Abby and Izzy.

Abby is apparently digging for gold in her ear and also likes to play copycat. Izzy got bonked on the cheek at school I swear I didn't beat her and was trying to floss her teeth with her fingers. Ahhh, the loveliness of four-year-olds....this video was also taken just before bedtime, so they may look slightly glazed over.

Without further adieu, I give you the girls' brief interview, followed by their audition for Britney Spears.

Click here to see the video clip (couldn't get it embedded in here for some reason, grrrrr!).

p.s. For those of you who are clutching your throats in sheer horror and gasping, "She lets her kids listen to Britney? What kind of mother is she?" I'll have you know it's mostly Laurie Berkner, Funky Mama, The Doo Dads, and Mr.Stinky Feet around here. But when I work out and get my Mom Sexy on (go visit The Mommyologist if you have no idea what I'm talking about), I listen to Mommy Music. End of rant.


Now That You've Heard All About My Family, Here Are Some Photos....

Kevin & Izzy
Everyone trying to orchestrate a photo of the three cousins. My dad is in the hat.
My mom's BFF, Chelsea, is in the green shirt. Mark is holding my niece, Livy,
and my sister-in-law, Katheryn, is in the grey top. You can see half of my mom off
to the right side trying to make the girls smile....
Abby & Livy take a snack break
                                            Kory, my dad's partner, (aka NaNa) taking a bite out of Izzy

You know you're in New Orleans when......there's lots of moss.

Izzy and Mommy on the carousel

Abby on the carousel

The three cousins playing in the rain...
GiGi's red velvet birthday cake--her favorite! YUM!
                    Izzy sporting her party hat
Uncle George (my dad's brother) and Abby
The Father Load and Izzy
Mark and the three cousins running in for a hug
The three cousins waiting for Tower of Pizza to open
Hungrily watching our pizzas being made
And for those of you that think Izzy is our favorite because she's in all the photos it's because most often this is what Abby is doing.
My mom (aka GiGi) and Izzy



Motherhood: It Ain't That Easy, or, My Eggs Are Too Old and No One Wants 'Em

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the moms out there who aren't yet moms, but who are desperate to be. They are moms in their minds, but not in the official sense. These women have been suffering through fertility treatments, riding emotional roller coasters, and dreaming of smelling that sweet baby breath only a new mom knows.

Yesterday we had some friends over, including our neighbors who had a baby girl a month ago. While everyone ate dinner outside, I held Baby Ainsley so her tired mommy could relax and take her time with her meal. I was alone in the house and cuddled her closely. She curled into me and I suddenly remembered holding my own girls as babies and how that spot just seemed made for them. Ainsley sighed a sweet baby sigh and nestled into my neck. I felt tears prick my eyes because as much as I would love to have another child, deep down I doubt I could handle it; and The Father Load says definitively whenever anyone asks us, "We're done."

It hurts my heart that some people are unable to have children. Either fertility treatments haven't worked or they've run out of money to continue them. Either adoption is taking a long time or it's impossible. Either they've suffered through miscarriages or had to consider surrogacy. There are so many reasons. And unless you've been there yourself, you don't think twice before asking someone questions like:

"So, when are you having kids?" or,
"When are you having another one?"

I recently filled out an application to be an egg donor. To be able to help someone have a baby really appeals to me. Sure, it might be hard knowing that somewhere out there someone with my genes/traits could come into existence and become part of a family I'd never meet; but the possibility of giving that gift, the gift of life, far outweighed any of my fears. To think about giving something so seemingly small that would mean so incredibly much literally kicked my ovaries into overdrive.

I was rejected, of course. At the age of 33, my eggs are "too old." Nevermind that because I myself required ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) to conceive, I'm not the ideal donor. But let it be said there was nothing wrong with my eggs---my body just won't release them on its own. So someone could just go in there and get them. Easy peasy, right? Apparently not.

As I held Ainsley yesterday, a lone tear slipped down my cheek and I brushed it away quickly. To know that I cannot give this gift pains me. My husband was distraught when I confessed it to him because I hadn't consulted him beforehand. It was a moot point because I'd been rejected, but it's also my body. Admittedly, Ainsley reminds me that I will never again hold my own baby. My twins are 4 1/2 and their "babyhood" was marred by my exhaustion, stress, and always the sound of someone crying. Juggling two at once made me feel as if there wasn't enough of me to go around and neither daughter got enough snuggling or physical closeness with me/us. I relished my time with Ainsley and relinquished her only because I had to take my dog out to poop.

Motherhood, raising children----is a hard job. But becoming a mother, the art of conception, is an entirely different matter and can often be far more difficult than most people realize.

I am a mother. For this I am eternally grateful. I don't ever take it for granted.

And for all of you who are still trying to become mothers, or who feel like giving up---I'm so sorry I can't help you.

But I can be your friend. I will listen. And I will love you and give you big hugs, even if they are virtual or via telephone.

Have you ever considered giving a gift like this?

**Please don't forget to vote for me for Top Mommy Blogger of the Year! There's a button at the top of my blog that will take you there, or you can go here and vote for The Mother Load! You may vote once daily between now and 6/6/10. Thank you!**

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