Lies & 1 Truth

The glorious Tulpen Elefanten of Bad Words tagged me in her Memetastic post. Since I haven't done anything fun here in a while according to The Father Load , I'm going to participate.

Here's the poop scoop on this game/meme, according to Tulpen:

You must list 5 things about yourself; 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff as we're not really interested in quality here. Then you must pass this on to 5 bloggers.

Now for the 4 lies and a truth:

1. When I was six my baby brother, Kevin, was born and I was super jealous. My parents had just given me this book with its all-too-vivid illustrations of two cartoon characters doing the sex:

image courtesy of Amazon.com

So I asked my brother, Mark, who was four at the time, to help me in my pregnancy endeavors. I ordered him to lie on top of me (I bossed him & he did everything I said) so we could make a baby STAT. He did, we snorted and giggled, and then I told him we were all done. Needless to say, no baby was made that day.

2.) As I was going through security at Nashville airport yesterday, I got stopped because I forgot to put my Poo Potpourri in a ziploc bag. I was mortified, but the TSA guy just chuckled and shook his head,  then handed it back to me.
image courtesy of http://poopourri.com/

3.) I brought The Father Load's giant suitcase to Blissdom and sweated like a pig hauling it through the Gaylord Opryland. What's up with calling it Gaylord, anyway? I always overpack. It's silly because why was I trying to dress to impress 600+ women and four men? I got lost approximately 22 times in 72 hours. I can't read maps. The highlight of the conference? When KLZ (Taming Insanity) ate my banana. Ooooooh. That was HAWT.
image courtesy of photobucket.com

4.) I'm hopelessly in love with Natalie Portman. I loved her in Black Swan. Because apparently I'm all dark, heavy, and twisty like that. But aren't many writers born out of dark and twisty lives like Sylvia Plath who stuck her head in the oven?

images courtesy of Google.com

5.) These are my feet:

image courtesy of Google.com

I've chosen to pass this nonsense along to these lucky ladies (who you should be following, DUH):
1.) Terri Sonoda (@Tsonoda)
2.) Snuggle Wasteland (@MsWasteland)
3.) Totally Ovar It (@TotallyOvarIt)
4.) Taming Insanity (@TamingInsanity)
5.) Crayon Wrangler (@CrayonWrangler)



So Who Is The Crayon Wrangler? said...

I'm thinking those aren't your feet. I haven't seen "Black Swan" yet, but now that you have endorsed it...I very well might.

KLZ said...

I think the poo potpourri (sp?) is the lie. I mean, the others are too good to be wrong

Natalie said...

I'm going with those not being your feet.

I WAY overpacked too & then ended up having to trek across the monstrosity of a hotel dragging my too heavy suitcase & extra bags. I ended up with blisters. Ouch.

Still totally worth it. I had such a fab time.

Nicole said...

Your truth is that you love Natalie?!?! AM I right? :)

Cluttered Brain said...

i'm betting those aren't your feet. lol. Fab shoes though.
And you probably really did bring a TON of stuff. Then came home with WAY more...
That's what conferences are like.
Bring a TON of stuff...get a TON of stuff.
Glad you had fun!

PostDivorceCoach said...

I know you intimately...I have never seen you with Poo Potpourri. Ever. But, who knows, could be possible. Not sure you would wear sandals like that in the winter?? But who knows possible. Shit..I don't know, but I do that number 1 and black swan are true.

Theresa said...

OMG thanks a whole lot Erin. No Really. I do appreciate this. I'm honored....ok honored may be too strong a word.....I nauseous. Yes that's it! Thank you again my friend. OMG
Your "truth" is Natalie Portman, by the way. If not, then what's wrong with you???? LOL
Terri Sonoda

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Since we have discussed feet before, I am going to call bullshit on the feet . . . although I am jealous of those too cute polished toes. :)

Pamela Hutchins said...

Not your feet :)

varunner said...

Another not your feet vote here. I want to see Black Swan, even though several friends have said they didn't like it.

Megan Matthieson said...

Ha!! Love this post! I can actually hear your voice. xoxoxox

Totally Ovar It said...

Love the premise. Very fun read and always, well written. Thanks for tagging me. Because I tend to be brutally honest, I'm having a hell of a time coming up with plausible lies. Who knew that would be the hard part?

Elaine A. said...

Damn, now wishing I had taken a better look at your feet!! ;-P

And I never saw your suitcase because it was on the floor on the other side of the bed the whole time. But I think that's the true one.

I need to get me some poo potpourri... he he.

MiMi said...

Ummmmm...is 3 the only truth?

Sparkling said...

Is that a gigantic rubber band around your suitcase????

What is this poo poo potpouri stuff?

I read that very same book and so totally thought that you just had to rub on each other to have a baby. DUMB BOOK.

Snuggle Wasteland said...

Number one is the truth. I think. I have no idea. I've never looked at your feet but I've never smelled your poo either so maybe it's #2.

(BTW, I like how your poo answer is 'number 2' - bwahaha!)

Ann Imig said...


And the Divorce one.

Hope you guys didn't need the divorce one.

Nice meeting you at Blissdom!

blueviolet said...

Those are not your feeties!!!!

I liked Black Swan too...but what a wild descent into madness that was.

PS. Didn't spend enough time with ya.

RN Mama said...

Um, wow. Only one is true? I'm guessing it's #3, but really I have no idea! Is that poo spray for real? That's just plain awesome.

Nancy C said...

We totally had that sex book. And the puberty one too. Waxing wasn't big when we were kids, I guess.

Liz said...

I do recall KLZ indulging in a banana or two during Blissdom!


tulpen said...

I'd do Natalie Portman in a heartbeat.

Aaaaaand. Where is the FUGLY graphic that goes with the meme?



jillsmo said...

As the creator of this award I'm afraid that tulpen has mislead you as far as the rules go (figures!) THE most important rule is that you MUST proudly display that absolutely hideously disgusting graphic that I created for it.

Here ya go: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3yUQoCwaBBg/TUMwcteE6YI/AAAAAAAAAWs/AEEoK4AavEA/s1600/award.png

It's horrifying!! HA HA HA HA!!

From Tracie said...

Sometimes when I think of Sylvia Plath this I have this flash of a scene from Gilmore Girls where someone says, "maybe Sylvia Plath wasn't crazy, she was just cold" and it makes me think about the temperature of my soul.....and I just made your fun post WAY dark and over-thought.

I'm thinking that they are all true. Am I right?

Also, I'm thinking that I need to touch up the polish on my toenails (especially since I still have on the same polish that I did for my mom's wedding...in November.)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Walking in those shoes looks kinda painful so I'm thinking that that's the lie. Am I right?

Anastasia said...

I hope your not lying about natalie portman because I really love her and loved her in black swan.

Jessica said...

I was wondering where your tacky meme button was, saw that Jillsmo already directed you there though. Congrats on the award and thanks for the introduction to Poo Potpourri.

TKW said...

Dude, those are totally not your feet. At least I think they're not. That first item had me snorting into my coffee this morning.

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

Thank goodness they didn't make you throw your poo potpourri away. Whew!

Babes Mami said...

I think that you are hopelessly in love with Natalie. Those can not be your feet, you wouldn't wear those shoes.

Leighann said...

I thought I was the only one forced to read that book by her parents. I'm not even kidding. However, I did not make my brother try to procreate with me, I hope that is the lie.


Amy said...

I stayed at a Gaylord in Dallas and thought the same thing about the name. The hotel was HUGE and had amazing restarants, bars, and pool side sushi.

I've stayed in a lot of hotels, and this one has stuck with me as one of my absolute favorite experiences. The breakfast alone is worth driving 400 miles for!

Andrea (ace1028) said...

I think we're supposed to guess which one is the TRUTH, so many of your commenters are completely off target. [hee hee] ;) Those are not your feet, and that is not your suitcase (or hubby's), and you didn't use the Poo stuff, so I think #1 is outlandish enough to be true, and you might possibly love Natalie Portman, but I'll go with the number 1 as the one truth. Just cause I can totally picture your girls or my girl doing something that ridiculous. And I totally had the other book that matches that book. I can't remember the title, What's Happening To Me? I think ...

The Empress said...

Not your feet.

ANd now I'm scared out of doing mine, since I was tagged, also, but yours rocks it so...that I'm just not able to do it.

Alright, I'll try.


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